Shelley Widhalm

Archive for the ‘Wanting the sun’ Category

Positive Upload

In Positive thinking, Wanting the sun, Writing on April 10, 2011 at 8:42 am

Thinking positive is hard, but I did make a first step. For the first couple of days of this week’s challenge, I completely forget that I was supposed to think positive thoughts.

I became conscious that my thoughts weren’t so bright when I was back to work (I have Sundays and Mondays off) and it was sunny out. I wanted to run outside and stay there and not go back into the big bad office where I had to, you guessed it, work! I want to live the artist dream and write novels all day long, but I can’t, at least not until I get published and can earn a living.

Yep, I’m a starving artist who likes to eat. So what does that make me?

Oops, there I go again into my slippery slope thinking that if only I could have things my way …

Later in the week, I thought about this guy who I like, and he sent me an email that made it kind of clear he’s just not that into me, so I started thinking that I’ll never meet anyone because … and on and on I went with reasons why. Wait! That was another negative thought.

The thoughts kept popping up all week, and I had to think, “You are negative, and I can’t be having you hanging around.” And then more of them would swing by, and I’d have to bash their ugly heads with positive thoughts, like “things will get better” and “I can say the Serenity Prayer.”

But it’s not like I made any changes in a week. It’s that I put little red lights on my negative thoughts. It was a good exercise, and I’m going to continue working on it. At least if I acknowledge, hey this is not such a pretty thought, then I don’t have to let the other bad thoughts make their way into my day if it’s not such a great one to begin with.

Don’t get me wrong. I’m not on my way to being a Pollyanna or anything. I’m just trying to accept the things I cannot change, I’m working hard on what I can and I’m trying to figure out the difference.

My challenge for next week is to buy someone coffee who’s standing in front of or behind me in line or do something else nice for another person. Maybe it will add a positive spin to their day.