Shelley Widhalm

Archive for the ‘Surgery’ Category

Minor Surgery

In Body image, Makeup required, Plus-size model controversy, Surgery on August 1, 2010 at 6:22 pm

I got minor surgery on July 22. They did not put a plastic cone on my head. They just told me to sleep and drink lots of water. It’s a pain now that I’m getting up three or four times a night to go you know where.

That’s my surgery story.

My other story regards makeup, which I’ve had to wear since I was in junior high. The two or three times I was absolutely running late and could not put on the mascara and eye shadow, I felt naked. I wonder how I’ve come to this point where I cannot see myself as beautiful until I have my makeup on and my weight in the mid-range of a healthy BMI score? I gained 10 pounds this winter, resulting in my nearly landing into the overweight range – that is if I gain a few more pounds.

A plus-size model weighing in at 150 pounds at 5-foot, 9 inches is in the midst of a controversy involving altered images that make her look anorexic. She is in the normal BMI weight range, yet she is a plus-size model. Plus-size models usually start at a size 12 and go up from there, according to Internet sources I checked. That’s the size I wear. I’m 5 foot, 11 inches, and I’m in a healthy BMI range. But if I were to model, I would be considered plus-size.

So, how can I, in a culture that fawns over the unhealthy BMI-scored models and actresses, feel comfortable in my own skin? It’s like I have a big plastic cone over my body because it’s not perfect.

Zoey wore her cone for six weeks, but I’ve still got mine on. Even without the whole plus-size controversy, I began feeling overweight since I’ve stopped being skinny post-college. I am not fat. I am not skinny. I am healthy, but my thinking is not. And I’m sure I’m not alone, telling myself, if only I could lose 10 pounds. Before I gained my winter 10, I wanted to lose 10 pounds. And so it has gone on since I began growing out of my skinny, adolescent body.