Shelley Widhalm

Archive for the ‘Loneliness’ Category

What Platform?

In Holidays, Loneliness, New Platform, New Year's Resolutions, Shyness, Single Girl on January 2, 2011 at 6:37 pm

After six months of blogging, I realize that I have to get a platform. If I were to reflect on previous blogs, I could say it’s A Girl and Her Dog, A Writer and Her Dog, or Lonely Girl With Dog.

Of course, I love my dog, but I think this year I should do a blog challenge. Each month, I’m going to try something new to get me out of my shy, lonely life. I don’t mind being lonely, as such, because I love to read and write and with a busy dog like Zoey, my time is filled.

But I think I need to stop making excuses to myself. I had mono for more than two years and this past summer began to feel almost normal. I now need eight to nine hours of sleep instead of nine to 12, plus naps. I let that be my excuse, that I’m tired.

My second excuse is that I’m shy.

I figure I could write about Single Girl, Barely 40, in Too Small of a City (with Dog). That is my new platform. Now for the catchy title, maybe City Girl Antics.

A Child’s Eternity

In Coffee shops, Furry child, Lap Dog, Loneliness on December 19, 2010 at 8:30 am

I took my dog Zoey with me to a local coffee shop that allows dogs, and I got coffee and she a bone. We lasted a half hour until Zoey started squirming and didn’t want to remain a lapdog.

On our walk home, I was in my own little world until I saw my neighbor, who co-owns a downtown business that sells kitchen supplies.

“Guess what, I’m a grandfather,” he said, his eyes bright as he stood outside, taking a break.

“Is it a boy or girl?” I asked.

My neighbor gave me the details and said, “I looked into her eyes, and she looked right back at me. It was like looking into eternity.”

I wondered if he meant that this baby had some knowledge she took from the womb that we adults lose as we learn how to talk and behave. Or did he mean, as he went on to say, that having children is one thing, but having grandchildren means carrying on your genes through time?

I told him I wanted to have children but was waiting for the right man. I thought, but didn’t say, that I treat my dog like my furry child, dressing her in clothes, calling her “my girl” and worrying about her development, both mental and physical. I want her to be stimulated through play, training, long walks and challenging toys.

As I returned to my apartment, I wondered if this was it, if Zoey was my child, my love, my replacement for a man, and then I thought, forget it. I can’t wait forever for a big what if? I need the here and now. I may not get to see “eternity” in a child’s eyes, but at least I get to taste what caring for another means.