Shelley Widhalm

Writing with a broken heart

In Shelley Widhalm, Writing, Writing Discipline, Writing Processes on August 31, 2014 at 11:00 am

It’s hard to write with a broken heart.

A heart that is broken, is breaking or knows that it’s about to break, because of clues that circumstances soon will change, gets focused on itself, not on things outside the self, like words.

Words, even those written by the brokenhearted, take the view outward to another novel, short story or article when all there’s to do is live and relive the same story of the self and try to figure out , explain and understand the hurt and why the event leading to the hurt had to happen.

The processing is a normal part of dealing with things, but it becomes a problem for the task master, I’ve-got-to-be-writing writer.

There are a few problems trying to write with a heart gone to blue.

First, there’s being too close to the situation without the needed distance necessary to be reflective. All of the events, conversations and details surrounding what lead to the broken heart become mixed up in constant processing. It’s like the spin cycle of the washing machine, round and round the hurt goes.

The spinning thoughts make it hard to focus, causing the switch from working to feeling sorry for the self and going back to trying to work again. Thoughts keep veering back to the heart, like a boomerang that can’t let go.

The heart wants to process, process and re-process and, like a dog with a bone, digs in its teeth, shaking the source into a frenzy of multiple possible explanations. Nome of guessing at why ever finds the exact truth, because it’s all perspective and reflection without a word-by-word recording and analysis of exactly what had happened.

At least this is what I’m doing with my thoughts on spin, on and on they go. As a result, I’m not thinking of the reader’s heart, only of mine. Sure, I will get over this, because it’s just life, but yet I feel guilty because I have writer’s block and the cause is my own silly heart.

I’ve gotten caught up in the belief that because I’m a writer, I need to write with short breaks or no breaks. But, really, for now, I need to reflect and hope the words won’t leave me when my heart begins to heal.

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