Shelley Widhalm

Minor Surgery

In Body image, Makeup required, Plus-size model controversy, Surgery on August 1, 2010 at 6:22 pm

I got minor surgery on July 22. They did not put a plastic cone on my head. They just told me to sleep and drink lots of water. It’s a pain now that I’m getting up three or four times a night to go you know where.

That’s my surgery story.

My other story regards makeup, which I’ve had to wear since I was in junior high. The two or three times I was absolutely running late and could not put on the mascara and eye shadow, I felt naked. I wonder how I’ve come to this point where I cannot see myself as beautiful until I have my makeup on and my weight in the mid-range of a healthy BMI score? I gained 10 pounds this winter, resulting in my nearly landing into the overweight range – that is if I gain a few more pounds.

A plus-size model weighing in at 150 pounds at 5-foot, 9 inches is in the midst of a controversy involving altered images that make her look anorexic. She is in the normal BMI weight range, yet she is a plus-size model. Plus-size models usually start at a size 12 and go up from there, according to Internet sources I checked. That’s the size I wear. I’m 5 foot, 11 inches, and I’m in a healthy BMI range. But if I were to model, I would be considered plus-size.

So, how can I, in a culture that fawns over the unhealthy BMI-scored models and actresses, feel comfortable in my own skin? It’s like I have a big plastic cone over my body because it’s not perfect.

Zoey wore her cone for six weeks, but I’ve still got mine on. Even without the whole plus-size controversy, I began feeling overweight since I’ve stopped being skinny post-college. I am not fat. I am not skinny. I am healthy, but my thinking is not. And I’m sure I’m not alone, telling myself, if only I could lose 10 pounds. Before I gained my winter 10, I wanted to lose 10 pounds. And so it has gone on since I began growing out of my skinny, adolescent body.

  1. Shelley, thought I’d experiment with this after I read your 3 articles. Was glad to learn something more about you and your thoughts on weight. Also, your description of Zoey’s class training was enjoyable. Your descriptions are colorful and real.
    Your creative writing ability comes through. Keep it up.

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